Next Stop, Chemo

Not really in the mood for being creative - so apologies for the 'dullness' of the narrative.  Feeling a bit blahhy....

Went to oncologist yesterday.  Dr Andrew Redfern.  Really nice guy - fairly young.  Very easy to understand and has a really nice way about himself.  Didn't feel uncomfortable at all.

First Chemo starts next Tuesday 6th.  Apparently I'm undertaking a reasonably typical treatment regime.  I looked on the web for some information that explained it all fairly clearly and came across this link.  This really replicates the information he gave me. 

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Cancertreatment/Treatmenttypes/Chemotherapy/Combinationregimen/TAC.aspx

So, I'm in for 6 treatments every 21 days of a treatment they call TAC.    The actual treatment only takes a few hours, however there's a bit of rigmorole prior and after that and then of course, its how I handle the side effects.  I must admit, I've heard (and read) lots of variations of experiences - some reasonable, some bad and all in between.  So really, I just have to wait to see how it impacts me. 

I've decided to take some time off work (2 months).  Luckily I have income protection insurance - I have to go one month without work prior to claiming but after that, at least I know my mortgage will get paid.  It really is a great relief to know I don't have to worry about it.  I'll have to be a bit carefull finance wise as I only get a percentage of my wage, but its more than manageable. 

So, I've spoken to my Chair & Vice-Chair and nearly everything's worked out.  I just have to finalise a few bits and pieces and go through things with my staff.  They are going to be doing a bit more and then I've pulled out of a few committees etc that I'm on.  Its all fairly manageable thank goodness.  Makes me feel a bit superflous but I can handle that. 

So, that's about all for now.  I'll do another update after my first round of chemo. 

I know I'll probably be at home, waiting for all of the side effects and thinking the worst.   I know I did that years ago (many years ago, in my wilder teenage days), after smoking some herbal stuff and waiting to see if I got any buzz.  Ended up, it was a dud... Hopefully this will be too....

Lots of love
Kay

Shit - what a journey!

Well, seeing I'm going to be on this incredible journey, I thought I'd do what I did when I went overseas for my long trip, and start up a blog....that way, all my friends and family can keep up to date with what I'm up to and....

 

 

If I'm having a shit time - I'm going to let you know know so that you can 'ramp' up the sympathy and 'attention'.
If I'm having a good time - you can still ramp up the 'attention'
And if there's no change - you can still ramp up the 'attention'.

 

 

So, I think you've guessed it...I'm going to wring this out for all of the attention I can get!!

 

 

No seriously, because I live by myself - and although Sonny is great (fantastic)  on cuddles etc, he's not very good on the practical stuff (ie support, company, diversion).

 

 

So, I'm going to looking for some of that from everyone else.  Sorry!!

 

I can't believe that only four weeks ago, I hadn't found the lump.  And had no idea.  I had actually registered on "E Harmony" and this year was going to be my year of perhaps getting out a bit more and even going on the odd date or two.  I was also thinking about renting out my spare room to an overseas student -to bring in some extra $$ and have some company. Yes, Kay was actually thinking of dating....

 

So, in the space of a few weeks things have changed slightly (understatement, its been a gargantuan change).  The past couple of weeks have been like a whirlwind.  Doctors appointments, tests, crying episodes, more tests, crying.  I think my heart has been beating twice as fast since then.  And my stomach muscles have been in knots. 

Amazing what stress can do for you.  I thought I was actually doing OK (physically) but realised by how tired I felt that the stress was actually doing to me.  I was so tired!!

 

This weekend, was probably the closest to normality for me - actually felt quite sane and in control.  Still very tired (long nanna naps) but a bit more relaxed.  Had lunch with a friend on Saturday and did some gardening on Sunday - planted some celery so that I can have some carrot and celery juice in 3 months. 

So, here's where I'm at.

• There are no secondaries (yeah, big yeah, huge yeah!!). I had imagined the worse so this is great news
• The lump is about 4 cm and its labelled as a Grade 3 cancer, which is aggressive and grows fast.  Its in my lymph gland (hence the worry about secondaries)
• There is a chance that they can 'conserve' my breast (love that term) so they are going to try and shrink the tumour first with Chemo, then a lumpectomy (if it shrinks), then radiotherapy to finally kill the little #@^%$.
• I'm in for about 6 months of shit!
• A bonus is that the chemo will also probably bring forward menopause so I'll look forward to the sweats etc as well but no more periods...

 My appointment with the oncologist is Monday the 27th and chemo will probably start the following week.  I'll know more on the 27th about timelines etc.  At this stage, chemo usually goes for about 3-6 months.  You get chemo once per week, have two weeks break, repeat, etc

I haven't formally made a decision about work - whether I should give it up (Thank goodness, I have income protection insurance) or whether I should try to rally on.... I'm talking to my boss next week + getting some further information before I make any decisions.  Because my job holds quite a lot of responsibility, I'm not sure whether I want to take that on.  However, it might also be my 'dose of normality' that I need. 

So, this is the first blog!!  I'll try not to be too depressing in the future, but I thought it important that:

1. you all know what I'm up to and how I'm feeling
2. I think its also going to be good for me to 'unload'  I already feel better after penning this. 

So, bye for now..... I'll update you all when I know a bit more.

PS.  I've named the lump "Barbarella the Breast Bump".  I originally called it Barbara the breast bump, but thought that anyone named Barbara might be offended.  I hope there's no Barbarella out there.